Question by ortiz: Criticism on these brief essays on something that made this school stand out for me and something that i have ?
I have ascended to heaven and have found it blissfully sweet. Such astounding inspiring, defining, and life changing was the time I spent at the Governor’s Honors program this past summer that only those words and that comparison can do it justice. The Governor’s Honors Program is designed to house the most talented, motivated, and academically gifted students of the Georgia and allow them to do what they do best. All the while creating an ideal enviorment for camaraderie. Yes the course work was indeed challenging , but because it was something I am deeply interested about (social studies) I had no problem with th work. I would not learn anywhere else that a serial killer is a product of severe neglect issues or that some a re just born that way. It is eerie yet fascinating at the same time to know that we have that knowledge at our disposal. The same could be said about a dam. It is hard to just take a day and ponder about a dam unless you are an engineer or someone that works with dams on a day to day basis. Yet the construction of a dam has huge implications and is a major decision that should not be made lightly by anyone. For example the Three Gorges dam in China will be so grand that it will be visible from space and be able to provide the rapidly developing nation of china with a renewable form of energy. At the same time the dam will cause deforestation and waste. The Yangtze river was one of the fastest in the world and that allowed it to push all the toxic material being poured into it out of China, but the dam will slow it down and the waste will be allowed to build up causing huge environmental distress in China. Besides the learning, the program allowed me to connect with people that were just like me. The kids at the program all were highly motivated and will be hugely successful just like I plan to be. It is awe inspiring to sit at a table with a complete group of strangers, that are not at the Governor’s school in the same area you are, and just start discussing politics and leave lunch learning something new. It always astounded me that I could talk about nearly anything and my peers would understand what I was talking about, something which does not happen to often at my high school.
What captured my attention about Emory was your Hispanic recruiter Simona Perales. Last year while attending a Hispanic convention, Si Se Puede, I learned about emory. After getting home,. I researched the institution and saw the demographics and type of students there. Emory has something I have found rare in my college selection process. What makes this institution stand out in my opinion is the people that make it up ,the students. As a graduate of the governor’s Honors program I have had the opportunity to meet like minded, highly motivated individuals. In my mind, Emory University is just like that only about 10 times bigger. I had the best 6 weeks of my life at the governors school and I met people that I am sure will be lifelong friends.
Answer by firstname.lastname@example.org
Check spelling mistakes obviously. Need a little better organization on the top one. Ideas are ok. Bottom one is weak. You might want to find out who graduated from there, and is now famous or doing work in the field you like. Then you can say, that you were impressed with the college because of its success in turning out successful people like X Y and Z. you believe that this college will help you achieve your personal goals and perhaps push you to achieve even more than you thought possible.
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